Be responsible to utilize the time we have been given in this season.
I’m a single mom of two and my main income is an at home based business that requires clients to come for a service. What this means is I’m isolated in an insane asylum with two hungry zombies and a possibility of running out of money or food to feed them! Pray for me that they don’t eat my brains!
Single. By no means am I throwing a pity party over not having a partner to supplement my income or assist in managing this circus, it’s nobodies fault that I’m alone. I’m simply stating a fact so that you can paint a clear picture of my current situation.
A workaholic. I’m guilty of scheduling myself to the point where I don’t have the time to give to my children always. I’ll be honest, there were times in my life where I felt it was an escape from the weight of having everything burdened on me, an excuse to dismiss them to go fend for themselves. Through life, I found balance but there are still days that I fail and feel guilty of just that. The woman I am now, I never skim the top of the water but dive deep to find why I am the way I am. Here it is: money has been my master for most of my life. In this life we serve one God and cannot idolize other things. In a world wide pandemic where I have no control over my business, no outlets from my contracted works, no weddings/events, no classes, I’m being taught the value in time with my children. To have faith in his ability to provide. To trust the process, tithe when I don’t know where the next penny will come from and to utilize these opportunities for the very things I pray for my kids about. I ask for the words to tell them when they need me to be strong and encouraging, to have understanding when I want to knock them upside the head, to fill them with faith and confidence...what a great time to show them, in a situation where the tunnel is so long, we have no lights of hope to say we are almost through.
I’m single. I’ll keep saying it. A time where my free time can be used for many forms of pleasure. Whether it’s through dating or with female friends, I can occupy it however I feel. Many of us haven’t figured out being alone. Being without touch, affection, sexual interactions or just simply sitting still. Many of us task ourselves running around constantly active so we never have a moment to stop and process or feel anything. We have avoided the realities of our lives. If you can be brave enough to bask in the idea that you have been given a time to grow without distractions of work and other people you will see glory when this season comes to an end.
I’ve been hungry to grow stronger in my faith. If you know me, you know I’m a firm believer in meditation and now there’s no excuse for me. There’s no reason why I can’t study, write, research, and do all the task that mold me by opening my eyes to thinking outside the box. The messages I receive through media that show me why things had to happen and why I need to constantly strive to evolve into a better person. To recognize the areas in my life that aren’t functioning at full capacity or need more attention and TLC. My ability to be present came from practice and now my lifestyle is a never ending routine in a repair shop. Like a house, the projects never end. As soon as one thing is finished something else needs to be fixed or touched up.
Let now be a time that you can stop and release the build up our everyday lives leave upon us. Clean up the layers of dirt and grime so you can get to the bottom of the things that bound you from a life of fulfillment and happiness. Rearrange your priorities and start new practices so that when the merry go round starts up again you won’t struggle with the balance of what’s truly important.
When we have no work, no money, and nothing to do, family is what’s there with you. The only source we can seek is God to keep everything together. If you had a million dollars in a bag you wouldn’t be physically capable of caring it around, but peace can be taken with you wherever you go.