Being the rock doesn't mean you can't crumble.
I’ve always heard people being described as the rock of the family—the person who held everything together. To be honest, I’ve never thought of myself as that person. For most people, the load of our lives tends to feel like normalcy. If we are use to running a marathon, a sprint is just another day in the park.
I found myself caught between a “rock” and a hard place. Wanting to feel valuable to the loved ones around me, I have found myself sometimes spread pretty thin. Blaming not enough time in the day, I sometimes wish there was either more of me or more time to get things accomplished.
Being the “go-to” seems to be a part of the “witching hour,” that time of day where it feels as though every single person is standing infront of you with their hand out. Many times I have found myself wanting to sit down and return the gesture. The struggle I have is that I want to be the “rock” but without the stubbornness of a massive boulder that doesn’t want to move at times when I’m simply spent.
The inter conflict is being real with oneself. I either want to be the reliable person my family knows they can count on, or I don’t. If the self-worth that comes from wearing those shoes means I have to step up and put them on, then the acceptance of fulfilling the role means letting go of the pitty party when I’m tired.