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Maybe I do believe in fairytales

The older I get, I’ve noticed, my vision is becoming worse. I’m almost fearful of driving at night. It’s only when I’m approaching obstruction that they become visible. Although I am able to dodge them, I wish I could see further ahead so that my pivots become less aggressive and dangerous. I may drive slowly and cautiously, but the visibility isn’t any better.

It’s become

a feeling, and I’m the karate kid now using my senses to see the punches being thrown at me with my eyes closed. I can no longer trust what my eyes see. I strongly believe in energies, and sometimes I think people prey on good people who are open and susceptible to the mistakes and past of others. Is it fair to just shut out every person who has fallen and scraped their knees? That would be hypocritical and following the old saying of “judging a book by its cover.”

I’ll admit, I’m a bit of a hopeless romantic and love a good underdog story, but I feel I’ve reached my limit of seeking some “love story.” I think Disney is actually on the right track! These princesses go through some drama, usually tell the dude to kick rocks before some collaboration to save the day proved they were equally yoked all along. Please, Romeo, climb up this tower and slay a dragon before asking me to put down my hair to help you out!

I can’t just blame every man who has tried to pull a fast one; I’m just as guilty as being prejudice and possibly passing up a good one because I associated their similarities with someone I had dealt with in the past. The same way we check the boxes of what we want, I had determined what a “stressful mate” looked like and made sure to avoid that guy at all costs. I’ve written people off based on their pretest only to discover how they were nothing like I thought. After all, a diamond in the rough is quickly overlooked..., and a morganite can’t fool even the most experienced jeweler **sigh**.

I think I’m at a point where I’m somewhere between being cynical and just assuming everything will fail and just having no expectation in the event something were to transpire. One thing for sure is I’m tired of wasting my time and energy, definitely over starting over. I feel like dating is like binging a Netflix series. You like it, and it’s over in the snap of a finger, you quit after a few episodes, or you’re left wishing there was another season. Then you flip to something else, hoping it captures your emotions and attention the way the previous one didn’t. No wonder I’m a music junkie, the tv sucks.

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