No request left unheard...
They say to be careful what you wish for. Unless it’s my birthday wish that I’ve had an entire year to think about, I find I typically wish for something amid a stressful moment, and that wish is somehow supposed to make the situation better. Most humans don’t think thoroughly in moments when they are unsettled, leaving a broad wish for interpretation and room for variations to slip through the cracks. The same reason we can’t change the past, if we had everything we wished for, we would probably cause never-ending ripple effects in what was the plan for our lives.
I woke up lost and confused. If I could paint you a picture, it would look as though you were standing in a vast place with several columns and a never-ending amount of dark hallways. The hallways extended far enough into the shadows that you can’t see where they lead, and there is no sound. There is no one around and no movement. You are alone, but yet capable of deciding which way to go. You aren’t afraid, not startled, not even worried; you are the equivalent of paint waiting on a brush while standing on a blank canvas.
I was in purgatory, a waiting area, except this limbo, had no feelings, and I wasn’t sure where to go. While I sat in this space, I watched the people around me be called out of the room, out of my life. The same way you wouldn’t be concerned about patients being called by a doctor that you would never see again, I didn’t even think twice about when these people would be returning to take their seat next to me. Antagonist, mumbling words in my ears from people that I don’t even know, speaking negatively about my life, finding ways to crawl close enough to be heard. Ugly words, words that would’ve hurt me in the past, and yet they rolled off my shoulders like rain on rain x. I didn’t feel anything except a lack of care. Why was I not only at a crossroads in the dark but numb to what was happening around me?
As a believer, I know the moment I’m making headway in my purpose, the opposition comes full force to throw us off from our path. To be honest, I had already done so. I hadn’t mediated ( prayed ) in a week or so, I had been slacking on my anti cursing policy, and my sound mind was allowing some negativity to creep in. In my opinion, when you’re down, and someone comes to give you a kick you usually fall over, I just stood there staring down the corridors. If you could imagine a giant monster in a movie and a bunch of humans throwing rocks at it, that was me, no impact, just the wheels in my head turning because I can’t seem to see why the enemy always seeks me out.
A shower is always a great place for me to clear my mind, and of course, as the thoughts come to my head, I chuckle. We so often blame the dark side for the things that are taken away from us that we are too blinded to recognize the work of God. As my 2020 has been making history with my professional growth, I have prayed day in and day out for God to give me focus and remove distractions from my life. As I stood in complete silence without views or people, I recognized he gave me what I asked for. Maybe we get caught up in the noise, the fight, and the difficulties in life that when a present shows up on your door, you don’t even know which way to open it. God delivered my request, and it was done peacefully.
As I washed away the day in the shower, I cleaned my ears and heard Him loud and clear. It was time to get back in motion. I found confidence in the place I am, comfort in the woman I’ve become, and mature in my faith. My feet are planted, and it’s going to take much more than abandoning me in open space to keep me from finding the way. Life is becoming a game of leveling up. As I pass enough stages, I don’t have to fall back to the beginning; I stay within my progression always a bit further than the time before.
Jesus said to make your request specific, stop leaving space for interpretation, you may just get what you wished for.